Running the Kielder 50K Ultra was really about much more than just running a very long way and I learned a lot about myself and my life whilst out on my very long run. For many years I have had embers burning away waiting to catch and turn into an Ultra but I just didn't have the nerve up until this year. Running in the Kielder Ultra meant a lot of things to me. Firstly, it was about celebrating the bravery and life of my wonderful husband. For me the first ten miles represented the bravery and courage Alistair showed when he was given his terminal diagnosis, then the next ten miles the strength of character Alistair showed throughout his chemotherapy and then finally the last ten miles, whilst never near how hard it must have been for him, was so challenging for me I thought about him every step of the way and could only imagine the thoughts and fight he put up in his last 5 days of life. Alistair was my life, the Ultra gave me the time, space and solitude to really think about that without the muddle of life interrupting my thoughts.
Secondly, it allowed me the space and time to really think about me and who I am now. I have struggled in the last few months about just who I am now. I am still Andy and Rhona's Mum, no brainer, I am still the daughter, sister and friend that I always was. But am I Jane Robertson again or Jane Malcolm? It took me to reach the top of a very boggy, misty, remote hillside to realise that I am most definitely a mixture of both. Jane Robertson has morphed into Jane Malcolm over the last 25 years. Without actually changing my name by deed poll I think I could be best described as Jane Robertson-Malcolm. If I can run 50K on my own in very challenging conditions then I can take on anything. After being part of a team for 25 years, making decisions together it was difficult to be out there on my own making important decisions without having that other opinion. However, the Ultra has shown me that I can make it on my own, I am tough, I am confident, I am a little bit bonkers and truly independent.
That being said whilst you are the actual person who covers the ground in the Ultra it is important to note that there are a whole host of people who help. Douglas and Nicola put me and Rhona up the night before, Douglas drove me all over the place, Jessica and Amy made me a lovely congrats clip on the phone, Tracey was the most amazing support crew and mexican wave that anyone could ask for. Carolyn, Kate, Alastair, Margaret, Christina, Chris and loads of other Fetchies gave me encouragement and advice on the way to my first Ultra and finally Andrew and Rhona for their never ending support, encouragement and general disbelief and what their mother is doing next. And of course, can't forget Mum, Dad, Dana and everyone else in the family who think I have absolutely finally lost it.
What was also quite amazing was the fact that when I started the race I was quietly in the back and unknown to anyone, but the end of the day everyone knew who Jane was and Tracey had even got some sponsor money from a random guy who lived in Hawick. (I have Tracey to thank for spreading the word). So Cancer Research has also benefited from my adventure.
So get yourself a cup of tea and a choccie biccie and I'll take you on a 50K trip round Kielder Water.
The day started very early with my first disaster of the day being that I discovered I had forgotten a major piece of kit - my running bra!!! For those not in the know this is a pretty major piece of kit for a woman to forget, especially running that sort of distance. I was almost climbing back into bed and giving up when I spotted my Cancer Research vest and remembered instantly why I was doing this so putting technology back 20 years I did what all of us ladies did then and put two normal ones on, knowing that I was going to pay for it later with grazing!
Finally after a beautiful drive to Kielder we got to the start. You will note that there are not a lot at the start line and that most people, other than a huddle of us at the back, look very fit and definitely athletic! I met Ruth at the start who was lovely and then tagged along with Barry and Adrian from Newcastle through the first 10 miles.
The beginning of the route was lovely, it meandered along the lakeside pathway with stunning views of the lake as we ran along. Then we turned up the first big hill. This took us up and up and up. Finally we were knee deep in mud high up on the moors above Kielder Water. I was keeping an eye on Barry and Adrian who had bright yellow rucksacks on and were just ahead of me. If I could keep them in sight then I wasn't going to get lost. That and the bright pink paint on the ground showing us the way.
After a lot of climbing, squooshing, slurping and general yukkyness, my love affair with mud was no deeper than it had been at the beginning. I could tell from my watch that I must be close to the first check point. I passed two people walking and the lady said to me "well done, the finish line is just around the corner". I didn't have the heart to tell her I was only a third of the way there! So I cheerily waved and thanked her. As I got to the checkpoint there was my trusty support crew and mexican wave, Tracey! With skittles and biscuits for me. It was lovely to see a familiar face. I checked in and met up with Barry and Adrian. Told them about me following their rucksacks.
So off onto the second ten miles. It was really helping to think about each section as ten miles rather than the whole 31 miles. Headed off over the viaduct, first really close up impressive view of the water. As I stopped to take a picture (I know - but I was never going to be very fast plenty of time to take pics) Tracey came cycling alongside me. Tracey did very well balancing on her bike at my very slow speed but it was nice to have company for a wee bit. Waved her off and set off following the pink paint!
The route basically just got hillier and muddier from this point onwards and took us up some really spectacular hills. Look what I saw at the 15 mile point - thanks guys...
This took me down to the second checkpoint where I decided to change my socks because I had been, by this point in and out of loads of really muddy puddles. (this is what they looked like later on once I fished them out of my bag).
Refulled and waved off by Tracey I headed into the last 10 miles of my run. Running over the Kielder Dam was quite impressive although my legs were not happy with the hard pavements after 20 miles of running in and out of mud.
After, what felt like a long mile over the dam the route took a turn back onto the lakeside path. This is where the run got almost boring as it was just a flat, hard packed path. Who knew I would enjoy mud and hills so much?? My legs were still okay, the plan to walk the hills and run the flats had really worked. I was also fairly pleased with my fuelling plan (basically to eat everything in sight). The only problem I did experience close to the end was my rucksack was beginning to really hurt a certain point at the base of my back but it was bearable.
This was a really quiet spot on the run and took quite a long time because it was fairly straight and long. However, I did have company from quite a few of the 100km runners (who had started at 5am). I got chatting to one of the runners who told me to enjoy my finish line as he said the first one is always special. As he ran off I shouted "see you at the finish line". By this point I had been out there a long time but was still really enjoying myself. The day had been gloomy, wet and very cloudy but with one mile to go from the finish the sun glowed bright through the clouds and shone on me. Who knows, maybe Alistair was looking down on me willing me to finish. With only meters to go to the finish line I was met by a really nice lady who was part of the organising team, "are you Jane?" she asked. Yup, great I thought I have taken so long they are sending someone out to find me! But no the next person I saw was Ruth who I met at the beginning, she gave me a huge smile and a hug. I walked up the last incline and then I could see the finish line - which was downhill. Who hoo I thought I've done it - 31 miles!!! Tracey, Rhona and Douglas were waiting for me, along with Barry, Adrian and the really nice man that I had chatted to a bit down the road. He had waited to see me.
Happy to be finished I headed into the Scout Hostel for a well earned cup of tea and a seat. What an amazing day out in Kielder Forrest. It was a stunning, peaceful, remote place - well worth the effort of running round it in 31 miles. I'm not really that great a runner and don't usually brag about my running achievements but you know what this is one that I am going to dine out on for a while! 31 MILES for goodness sake!! That is just crazy. How did I get from running a few times a week when I was 16 to running 31 miles at 44??? Go figure.
Will I do it again? Of course I will! When I don't know but I absolutely loved it, mud and all.
I put myself through this madness to help me move on and to remember Alistair in the only way I know how. He loved a challenge and I know he would be very proud of me having the guts to hang on in there and complete my first Ultra. This is how I will live my life - I will keep challenging myself.
So for those of you who are taking part in either Le tour pour Ali or the Race for Life go out and enjoy your very own challenge. It doesn't matter whether you run, walk 3 miles, 6 miles or 31 or even cycle 80 it is the person you are at the end what matters!
If you are in the tiniest bit impressed with my efforts then please think about donating to our Team Ali efforts to help in the fight against cancer.
http://www.justgiving.com/TeamAli
Cancer we're coming to get you.
don't worry, be happy :)
