Where to start? The last few weeks, months have been quite frankly horrible. My dear, darling husband as most of you will know now died on the 25 November leaving us with a huge hole in our hearts and lives. A hole which may never or we may never want to fill. People keep saying to me that I am so strong and so brave and many are worrying that I am not crying enough. I am not strong, I am not trying to be brave and believe me there have been buckets cried in the comfort of my own home and occasionally on the run. My strength is coming from the bravery that my wonderful husband showed through his illness. I cannot even imagine being told what he was told and then so bravely dealt with chemotherapy and the inevitable outcome. If he could be that brave under such dire circumstances then I too can draw on that strength to get through my life without him. I am getting up each day and can hear him saying "Right, that's it, I'm deid, get on with it!". Alistair was not one for dwelling on what had happened but what could happen next.
So with Team Ali (Race for Life) building in numbers day by day, I needed to find a challenge that would keep Alistair's spirit alive. Later on in the day yet another post popped up on facebook for McBusted! Rhona does do a good line in puppy dog eyes and hey presto we are heading to Glasgow to see McBusted in May (may well live to regret that decision). So that was my Keswick Triathlon out of the window as we will be in Glasgow with millions of screaming girls. But it was worth giving it up to see Rhona excited about something again. Then my mind wandered back to the Ultra that Ali had jokingly entered me in before he died (to give me something to do!). So that was that if there is one thing that I have learned from the terrible tragedy which has struck our young family is that Carpe Diem is not just a neat phrase used in films. Eeeek - so now I have the huge task of bringing together Team Ali in June whilst training for a 50k run in April. It's only another 4 miles on top of a marathon - how hard can it be????
Running really helps me to deal with the shit that life throws at me and I know, as did Alistair, that running would get me through this. Alistair made me promise that I would never give up my running, and that I would keep challenging myself and that I should always do my races with him in my heart. So when I am aching and can't go another step you better be there Ali with words of wisdom (or your usual brand of tough love - along the lines of "get on with it, you entered the damn thing").
So training today consisted of a 4 mile run this morning (quite tough legs a bit stiff) and then 2 miles with Rhona for her 10K challenge. 6 miles in total - only 24 to go!!!!!
I have no idea how to train for an Ultra but so far my Fetchie friends have told me that it is like training for a marathon with back to back training sessions and a few more miles. So look out for my training blogs full of my tales of woe and adventure!
don't worry, be happy :)
