A great big Fetchie Hug!

A sucker to facebook I got involved in this virtual 5K which was to happen on the 21 November. I decided that I would use the event to take myself off for a special run so didn't get around to it until the 24th. 

So I took myself  off to The Kelpies in Falkirk, with a view to running along the Forth and Clyde Canal. Readers of my blog know that things have not been easy this last few years for me and my family but I am always reminded of how precious and fabulous life can be when I go for a run and how being part of a great running community such as Fetcheveryone has been a real support and I how have made so many good friends from Fetch. So this run is for all of you to say thank you for being there. Feel hugged by JaneyM my lovely Fetchies. 

This is my virtual 5K Moonjoggers run (although not virtual, as I did actually run and it ended up 7 miles rather than just 3). And I make no apologies for the amount of Kelpie photos, every angle I looked at them they looked even more amazing.

Started my run right under The Kelpies. There were two amazing quotes on the walls around the Kelpies. "Bow down your strong heads to taste the water" and "Stretch up your long necks to face the sun". Wonderful. 

 Anyway, here I go off on my run. I headed along the canal path towards the Falkirk Wheel. Tempted as I was to run all the way to the Wheel, I decided I would pick off locks and see how far I got. I haven't had a run longer than 10k since Glasgow Half and my Kielder training schedule was only for 6 today. It was a beautiful sunny start, although as I got going those heavy clouds decided to open up a little and empty. Not for long though and the sun came back out again.

It was a great path, with lots of walkers cheerily making their way to the next cup of tea stop at the Falkirk Wheel. Very warm and pleasant running.

As I was making my way along the path contemplating life as I ran, this beautiful Heron landed right in front of me. I stopped to admire it just for a second, trying to creep even closer then as always I stood on a stone, made a noise and it took flight. Even more impressive in flight.

Final stop was Lock number 7. It just seemed like a good place to stop and it was about half way on my 10K route. I do like Locks, they never cease to amaze me. Twenty Five years with Alistair, engineering has rubbed off on me a bit I guess. This one had just lifted a canal boat up to the next level. 

You can't beat a canal for straightness can you? It really did turn into a beautiful day. Canal's are hard work though, they are so flat and straight. I moan about them but I do like a hill now and again. 

This was a nice surprise view as I came back towards the Kelpies Hub. This was about 2 miles out from them. I always find it amazing that despite their size they are placed in a position that means you often don't see them until you are right there at them. This happens when you drive up the M9, you don't see them, then bang they are there! Driving into the park they are in is the same, you can't see them until you turn that final corner. So this was a truly wonderful sight to come across because I turned the next corner and they were gone again.

Got back to the Kelpies Hub and my Garmin showed that it was 6 miles, but as often happens, I wasn't really feeling finished so I decided to head off down the road towards The Helix Park. The Park itself was not that stunning, just a big pond and the "Great Lawn" (essentially just a big flat bit of grass - sounded grander than it was) but on the way to the Great Lawn there was a beautiful path that took you through Wetlands and Marshes. Very peaceful and lots of swans.

So at 7 miles I found myself back at the Kelpies. And again, the light and sky has changed and they look different again. Stunning, amazing, fabulous, wonderful, beautiful, majestic.

Today's view from Ally Bally was quite impressive, if a little hard to capture as the car park is a bit away.

Cup of tea in my new Kelpies mug, bit of Christmas cake and feet up for a bit. A brilliant Hug a Runner 10K (and a mile). 

So as I said at the beginning of this blog, this Hug Run was for my Fetch buddies. Running has so many benefits. Apart from the obvious fitness aspects, there is long lasting friendships, support, love, discovery, fun and many other things. So feel hugged fetchie pals. I love you all. 

Don't worry, be happy.

Running and Grief

It is not a secret to say that I love running. I particularly enjoy running in the hills. When life gets tough taking to hills banishes worries and concerns. The effort involved in getting to the top of the hill forces those worries to the back of your mind whilst your body concentrates on the job in hand. It is almost two years since Alistair died and the last two years have been a real struggle.

Those who know me well know that I have a game face. That game face is the product of many years of running long distances. Tracey knows that game face well, she saw it time and time again in Kielder. That face which covers all the struggles, pain, moments of doubt,weakness. Those who join me in running ridiculous miles will have that same game face. If you give in around 20 miles on a 30 mile run you stop, simple as that. I have been using that game face for two years. Sometimes I can't and it takes me a moment or two to regain it but on the whole it's there. This last week or so finding my game face has become harder. I read an article which said that when the condolences end the world sees you return to normal, regain weight, return to work, make new friends, take up new hobbies but the life of a widow never ends. Every day something happens that reminds you. The challenge is to not let that define you. Grief affects us all in very different ways and how we deal with that grief is a very personal thing. It can drive some people crazy, make others cry, make others change themselves radically. Mine is to run. To enjoy the world outside my door.

Alfred Wainwright said, in Memoirs of a Fellwalker:

"Louis Armstong used to tell us that this is a wonderful world. He was right. We should all be joyously happy. All around us, or within each reach, are Nature's exquisite pageants in a country meadow, lovely trees where birds sing, chuckling streams winding the tapestries of enchanting valleys below the colourful backcloth of hills. There is beauty everywhere...."

I had forgotten this for a while. I haven't been running much recently, mostly because life has just been tough. This week life just swamped me, I think the realisation that in a few short weeks I will have been a widow for 2 years. It's not long but has felt like a lifetime. It is hard bringing up a family in those circumstances, finding out who you are as a widow. I am normally a hugely positive person but have of recent lost that positivity. As a result I have been signed off my work for a few weeks. Life just became too stressful. So what to do? Nothing else for it, go outside and run.

I am now writing this with legs which are tingling with the effort of having run up a hill, twice in the same week! It feels fabulous. I can feel that positivity creeping back in. I need to take the time to recoup and recover. 

Lots of people have been there on and off during the last two years but there are a few friends who I couldn't have done without. Tracey, Hazel, Mark and Cathy have been constantly there to listen to me, let me cry, let me shout, rant, hug me when I needed it, give me advice and a damn good talking to when I need it (to be fair that is usually just Tracey). And again this week those people have all been there to support me. I will forever be grateful for that support. I have a great family also supporting Andy, Rhona and I and I love them for it. But it is only me who can make me feel better. So I am starting with getting back to the hills. To find what AW talked about in his books.

So this week I have been up Caerketton with my wee pal Kobi.

And today I took myself up to Flotterstone in Ally Bally and ran 5 miles. I am starting to feel better. Running really is medicine for the soul.

November and there are still brambles. I ran up this wee hill to get up to see the view of the Glen, well worth the hard work. 

 A bit further up the road I reached the top of end of the first reservoir. All of the stones and grass in the background should actually be under water, with all that rain the last few days, why is the reservoir so low? Beautiful colours all around.

Just as I turned to come back down the hill the sun came out from behind the wintry clouds and shone bright over the top of Carnethy. Stunning.

Feeling loads more relaxed I made it back down the hill to Ally Bally. Today's view from the van door. Gorgeous.

Ally Bally is probably one of the best running gadgets I own. Not only does he provide a dry place to get changed but can make tea too!!! Perfect pal to have.

My Doctor said several things to me about giving myself time to grieve in the right way for me. Mostly about eating healthily, taking time to think, taking exercise and spending lots of time outside during the winter months. All of that can be tackled by going for a run. A long run up a hill. The last thing my Doctor left me with was this "Live in the now". As I was running up (well staggering up) the steep hill to take in the view of the Glen I suddenly realised I was living in the now. All I was thinking about was getting to the top of that hill to see the view. Nothing else was in my mind. I am not sure I can find that level of mindfulness any other time in my life. So I have to keep running up hills.

Next big running challenge is a return to the Kielder Ultra 50K in April. This is the official start to my training for that. I will keep you all posted with regular blog updates. 

don't worry, be happy.