Peace...

My training this week has been sporadic to say the least. We had the interment of Alistair's ashes at St Monans Church yesterday. It is a beautiful spot, where Alistair's Dad is also buried, and the weather was just perfect.

I don't really like the american idea of "closure" but I do think we all needed yesterday to bring to a close a tragic time in our lives. It is by no means the end of a painful process but at least it puts an end to this part of it and we can start to move forward at our own paces.

So to my training. As I said it was a little sporadic and I didn't really stick to the training plan this week as I was emotionally all over the place. However, I did manage a couple of four mile training runs working up to my first longer run of 14 miles. It took a bit of talking myself into going out but I did get myself out of the door. It was a really tough run, emotionally all I could think about was the interment. Whilst it was tough it was really reminding me just how mentally strong I can be. I managed to get back before the snow came on.

Today I went out for my first back to back run (although technically it wasn't back to back but it was as close as I could manage this week). The sun was shining and it was actually quite warm. Today was to be an 8 miler so I set off with slightly tired legs from my long run. I believe the back to backs are the back bone of the Ultra training plan and I can see why. It took a lot of effort physically and mentally to stop myself slowing down to a ridiculously slow trot. The other thing I noticed on my way home, from the turnaround point of my run, was that I wasn't thinking about the interment any more but was writing my research proposal for a PHD in my head. Where did that come from I was asking myself? I guess I just needed to see Alistair at rest with his Dad to be able to free my mind up to think about my own life again. It was nice to be able to just concentrate on something else for a change. (After this I am going to go and write down what I was thinking about as I have a meeting with Dr Davis at the University at Easter and it would be good to have something to present to him!). Finished my 8 miles happily tired and putting the kettle on.

Hopefully, this week I can settle back into my training program and do my best for Alistair in April at the Ultra. Although, I am starting to panic a bit about that as now the Kielder website is saying it is going to put up the cut off times - eeek. Kind of forgot there might be cut off points, not totally sure I will be fast enough to finish the Ultra. Still got the Edinburgh Marathon as a back up plan, so my training wouldn't be totally wasted.

That's that...

don't worry, be happy :)